Without knowing much about your situation, this could indicate either poor culture in your company, or poor management. In other words, is this really a sign that you should get another job (or another assignment under someone else)?
That being said, assuming you like your job / manager:
> I’ve broached the topic lightly with my manager but don’t want to come across as whining, so I’ve generally just been trying to push back on meetings in the friendliest way that I can.
Don't broach the topic lightly. Be very direct. "I have too many meetings, and I need to reduce them. As a result, I'm doing too much work at home. This is a problem for my family."
See where that goes. Before you discuss this, though, there are some things to consider:
Some people hold meetings as a form of procrastination, or as a way to feel important. It's important to figure out which of your meetings are these kinds, and decline them.
It's also worth looking at how to hold an effective meeting. When I worked at Intel in 2005, "effective meetings" was part of onboarding for all new employees. It gave us a lot of tools to pushback on bogus meetings, including a clear culture of declining bogus meetings.
It's important that you set some clear boundaries / limits, and not give in at all. (Even if this means finding a new job or assignment with a different manager.) What that something is, really depends on your relationships with your manager and peers. It could be that you decline meetings, (as other people suggest,) or it could be that you demand better planned meetings in order to attend. What's important is that you set some clear boundaries, and leave if they aren't respected.
Finally, if you don't get much support from your manager, and you still like your job, I suggest bringing the problem up the chain of command.
That being said, assuming you like your job / manager:
> I’ve broached the topic lightly with my manager but don’t want to come across as whining, so I’ve generally just been trying to push back on meetings in the friendliest way that I can.
Don't broach the topic lightly. Be very direct. "I have too many meetings, and I need to reduce them. As a result, I'm doing too much work at home. This is a problem for my family."
See where that goes. Before you discuss this, though, there are some things to consider:
Some people hold meetings as a form of procrastination, or as a way to feel important. It's important to figure out which of your meetings are these kinds, and decline them.
It's also worth looking at how to hold an effective meeting. When I worked at Intel in 2005, "effective meetings" was part of onboarding for all new employees. It gave us a lot of tools to pushback on bogus meetings, including a clear culture of declining bogus meetings.
It's important that you set some clear boundaries / limits, and not give in at all. (Even if this means finding a new job or assignment with a different manager.) What that something is, really depends on your relationships with your manager and peers. It could be that you decline meetings, (as other people suggest,) or it could be that you demand better planned meetings in order to attend. What's important is that you set some clear boundaries, and leave if they aren't respected.
Finally, if you don't get much support from your manager, and you still like your job, I suggest bringing the problem up the chain of command.